one early morning

Oh my gosh.
I have got to tell you about this horrifying thing that happened to me this morning. Not horrifying in that anyone is hurt--except me. It made me so, so...ugh. SO sad.
I woke up around 4:00 (...no, that isnt the horrifying part). I poured my coffee and as I headed toward the couch, I saw headlights flash across the wall. And I heard car doors opening and closing.

The neighbors across the street are in construction, so they often leave early, but at a glance, I could see the car was in our driveway.

Two people got out of the car and one started walking toward our house. I could tell, even in the blackness of pre-dawn, and by her hair... sort of flyaway...and her gait that it was Maggie's friend, Sam. And the other person still over by the car, grabbing things out of the backseat was tall and slim--Maggie.

And in seconds--milliseconds--I processed a million emotions. Surprise that this had never happened to me. Neither of my kids had ever been kids who snuck out. Oh, sure, they were stupid from time to time. But they were never rebellious. Neither of them. And they were never so careless as to imagine I would be okay if I woke in the night (or morning) to find them gone.
I watched them walk and I didn't know what to do. Do I risk standing there and scaring them? Even though they clearly did not at all care that they possibly could have scared me. And yet, a mother til the end, right? My first thoughts are of them.

I kept thinking...Do I just stand here? Do I go back in the bedroom? Do I even WANT this conversation at 4am? I was frozen in one spot, coffee forgotten, staring out the side window of the door.

And at the root of all of these micro-second thoughts, I was only conscious of being so surprised...just, totally shocked. Frozen. And sad. And hurt...

This, the story I'm telling Maggie as she is sitting on the couch, after having woken up around noon. Her eyes are glued to my face. Spoonful of Lucky Charms frozen in mid-air. The only motion that of her blinking from time to time. Her face a frozen mask of confusion.

"And then I was like...'Wait. Was Sam even here last night?' And then I realized it wasn't Sam at all.

It was Amazon."

There was a beat of nothing. Nothing at all. And then Maggie's crack of laughter bounced off the ceiling. So funny. So, so funny.

"I had ordered a package and it was free to just have it come overnight..so it came at 4 in the morning!"

I'm not even sure why I bothered the tell the rest of the story--Maggie was no longer listening. Her face was buried in the couch cushions, dying laughing.

"You laugh!"...and, honestly I laughed with her, "but I stood there and went through all seven stages of grief in, like, two seconds FLAT!"

"Oh my lord!" She said when she came up for air. "I cannot WAIT to tell Sam."