the try hards

One of my favorite all time things, that arrows straight to the deepest recesses of my heart is people trying hard to do something new, to understand something new. It is something behind the eyes, something earnest, sincere and so endearing to me.

Maggie has a phrase "being a try-hard" and from what I can tell it is something in the quality of being sort of a kiss-up. It's sort of bold and brassy and not sincere. It is, in short, not a desirable thing to be.

I am taking a yoga class--it is one of my attempts to get outside my comfort zone in new and peace filled ways. I have always done my yoga app at home, but a class? I didn't want to work at this in the company of others, for whatever reason.

The instructor, she is new. A perfectly zen earnestness shines out of her, and sometimes she halts. Looks at her notes. Loses track of a thought and I see her look.look.look. to find where she was. And then, she does.

She is pushing the boundaries of where her comfort lies and I am so impressed by her. I can't explain how much her new journey touches my heart.

Maybe it's because I'm a teacher. Maybe that's WHY I became a teacher. I am so in love with the authenticity in the moment of trying to be a little bit more than you are. The humility of it strikes me as something perfectly divine.

Not in the family of Maggie's "try hard". Not trying hard and making a spectacle of yourself. Not making the moment about you. But the quiet, tiny parts of people. When they come face-to-face with a new job, or a new experience, and they want to do the utmost to honor it.

The lady across from me is profoundly new to this practice and I love her more than anyone else. Last week she called me "the gal in front of her who knows what she's doing." Says she watches me when she can't see the instructor. She is wobbly and unsure. She rises up to a pose, all tippy canoe, trying so hard to be steady. I wonder what brought her. I adore whatever it was. She is trying so hard and everything in me wants her to succeed.

I love the quiet of people. I love the first tentative steps to a better soul.
I love the still parts of their hearts. I am charmed by the endless human capacity to try harder.

Dan and I sat at dinner tonight, we met up after a very long day. Me, still in yoga gear telling him all the things I learned. He, a different sort of happy now that he's chosen to try out Cross Fit.

"I bought a yoga block today!" I say. "It is orange and I am very fancy!"

"Well, look at you!" He says, happy for me and my new road. I am trying hard too, you see. And no matter what the youth of the world may say, I am quite proud to be counted among them--the try hards.

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